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August 31, 2008
Sorry for the long delay of posting a blog. Been so busy lately, and tired. Lately, I find myself facing the computer screen, feeling the urge to write, but somehow, I just can't seem to keep my thoughts formed long enough inside my head to transfer to a blog post.
And not being able to write absolutely KILLS me… damn you, accursed writer's block! (shakes fist in the air rigorously)
And not being able to write absolutely KILLS me… damn you, accursed writer's block! (shakes fist in the air rigorously)
So now it's 5.50am, Sunday morning (not a morning worthy of Maroon 5's mention, mind you… feels so lousy) and the whole house is asleep, except for the insomniac typing a damn post before dawn breaks.
What I have decided to do is just write down ALL of the short thoughts running rampant through my head in one single post. Here goes…
- I suffer from an inferiority complex… I feel like I'm never good enough, and someone else is always better than me (well, on occasion…)
- I felt jealous of a friend recently because she was more attractive and seemed to outshine me… I felt threatened. I felt so tak dilayan. This confession may be overdue, but I'll say it anyway, just to please those who have been pressuring me to admit it, and to ease my conscience. I AM A GREEN-EYED MONSTER OF ENVY.
- I am NOT fond of butter cake… give me RICH, MOIST CHOCOLATE CAKE any day!
- To those of you who don't know, I STILL DON'T HAVE A DAMN DRIVER'S LICENSE (I'm posting another post regarding this matter shortly) and I am NOT an incompetent driver!
- I've made it my mission to tone up my triceps and lose my 'kegendutan' in the abdominal section (gulp! Sit ups!)
- I keep thinking of the word 'PINEAPPLE' a lot since the beginning of the semester… why is that?!?!?
- How much do 5lbs dumbbells cost? I'm pretty serious about getting a pair…
- People tend to UNDERESTIMATE my capabilities, and sometimes, I don't blame them. I mean, I am a skinny-shit, and probably can't do many physical tasks. But it DOES NOT mean that I don't TRY, okay? (I will elaborate further in a future post)
- Yes, I do carry heavy things, merci beaucoup. And I do not consider a single laptop bag as unbearably heavy!
- I miss him so damn much…
- I'm afraid of losing him… I don't want him to move on to greener pastures. Aren't I green enough?
- I am clingy to those I love. It's a painful fact I'm forced to accept. I know it drives people away, but please understand. I'm only acting this way coz you're not responding to me, and I'm afraid of losing you. And I have lost loved ones because of this misunderstanding…
- I miss my Semmykins so much! It kills me that I haven't seen her for over a month, and it's my fault for putting it off. I don't care whether it's the fasting month or what, but I'm gonna spend some time with my BFF!
- Ibtisem Ben Nassib is the only friend I am able to connect with on an intellectual level with, although my friends are all smart in their own way. We're just kindred spirits, I guess…
- Writers don't get much recognition as opposed to other vocations… (will elaborate further, soon!)
- Why is it that some days, I can dance (okay, that's an exaggeration. Replace the word with 'MOVE') rather smoothly, and on some days I just look ridiculous and feel so disjointed? This sucks! Be consistent, body!
- I tend to get nostalgic listening to Gwen Stefani's 'Cool'… beautiful scenery, though! And she's so pretty as a brunette!
- Keris Patih's 'Tapi Bukan Aku' makes me wanna cry every time I listen to it, and not really because of the lyrics, but because the singer sounds like someone I deeply cared about…
- I hate being left to make my way alone through this world if it can be helped, and I hate (to quote a song lyric) 'feeling alone with people around'.
- I am in desperate need of a proper vacation! Get me away from everything and let me indulge in my senses… savor the moment! No heartaches, no worries… just the beach, the endless blue sea, close friends, and fun!
Okay, I'm sorry. I went overboard with the thoughts. I just realized that I've been extremely emotional lately, I'm narcissistic (notice how many times I used the word 'I'), and I use the word 'damn' a lot in this post. Well, at least now I can finally get some sleep. The burden's been taken off from my shoulders. I can finally rest in peace. Sweet dreams, guys. Until next time…
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