Musings of a Mortal Dreamer

I think the headline speaks for itself! heheheheh

Truly, it was an awesome surprise, seeing that I was sooooo convinced that my results were gonna bomb like what happened to Hiroshima... but surprise, surprise! It turned out better than I expected!

I guess it pays to be a positive pessimist... Hope for the best, expect the worst... that way, the world won't come crumbling down if your expectations are not met. Therefore, if things do turn out for the better, HELLO, INSTANT BOOST OF SELF-ESTEEM! :D

In case you're wondering, I maintained my CGPA. Minimal qualification for Dean's List, but hey, I still got it!

And to think, I thought I was gonna fail my damn tarian (kes besar there, malas nak go into that again...), and Koku actually counts as well as affects our CGPA!

And damn it... I regret that I couldn't grasp the concept of syntax properly before my tests (and brought down my GPA), which accounted to 50% of our total marks... I wish I could repeat that, but I guess we'll just let bygones be bygones...

In a nutshell, ALHAMDULILLAH! Praise be to Allah S.W.T. for making my hard work pay off in the end, despite the endless bouts of stress, so that my family can share the joy of achievement!

TIME TO BUCK EVEN MORE UP FOR THE UPCOMING NEW SEMESTER! woohooo! can't wait to start the 3rd language component! Parlez Francais, Mon Ami!

Out of the blue, I had the itch to listen to the song that defined the band Nirvana... 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. So I followed my whim that came out of nowhere, and layan-ed the song for the next 5 minutes of my life.

I savoured every moment of it... from Kurt Cobain's trademark 'my-vocal-chords-are-tearing tearing-up-inside-my-throat!' voice, the haunting mantra-like 'hello 3x, how low?' bridge, to the soaring guitar solo from minute 2:52 till 3:32...

This song has gone through A LOT with me... through times of joy, pain, anger, sorrow, loneliness... you name it. In fact, I have yet to come across a song with the same impact as SLTS has... I seem to be able to find a sense of solace in Kurt's voice, & in the music... the song manages to take my passionate emotions atm (e.g. rage, grief, dissatisfaction), mount it & intensify it to the highest point... building & building its way to the final climax, making me scream away the pain, then leave me lying on my bed relieved & exhausted from the pent-up anger. Heheheh sounds almost like an orgasm, innit? ;p

I'd forgotten just how much I missed Kurt's voice... it's been far too long...

Suffice to say, this led me to raiding my music playlist & playing ALL the songs I have from Nirvana (& trust me, I have almost ALL of them!) non-stop! ALL NIGHT LONG, BEBEH!

Does that sound obsessive to you? heheheh wait la... keep on reading & you'll see...

I used to be known for my obsession over Nirvana, and ultimately, the lead singer, Kurt Cobain (R.I.P. my angel of music), back in my high school days. Back then, when I was at the tender age of 14, I came across a CD filled with influential 90's alternative rock songs, which I'm guessing might have belonged to Ami Kashaf...

This CD changed my life forever, because it introduced me to Nirvana, which was to become my favourite band of all time, and was the pioneer to my love of rock music. Two songs were featured, which were Come As You Are, & Smells Like Teen Spirit. The latter would later become my one of my favourite songs ever, and the song I would play in order to get the inspiration to write (it usually works! In fact, I'm listening to it as I'm writing this post!)

I know critics tend to say that Nirvana is an overrated band... and in some ways, even I, the diehard fan, would have to agree.

1. Their guitar riffs are fairly simple (the most complex one might have been from Scentless Apprentice or Love Buzz), so to label Kurt a guitar god is an overstatement.

2. The lyrics are mostly incoherent and do not seem to have a sense of connectivity (the lyrics of cult classic Smells Like Teen Spirit are completely nonsensical!), so Kurt's song-writing abilities are indeed questionable

and

3. Nirvana did NOT give birth to Grunge music, as most people believe.

However, it is their popularity & ability to change the music, as well as fashion scene so drastically (from the Glam Rock flambouyance of the 80's, to an Anarchistic, apathetic 90's era of alternative rock) that made them the legends that they are today.

The angst & feelings of 'I don't give a fuck, man... I'm so tired of this shit!' that they convey through their music & lyrics inspired a whole generation of fans... and I happened to come along it a decade too late (I was only 3 when Smells Like Teen Spirit hit the radio waves!). What with the tragic death of Cobain in '94, Nirvana's standing in the music world was further elevated.

Okay... shit. I made this whole post about the history of Nirvana. Adoyai. Nampak right, that I'm a huge fan? Hehehehe but rest assured, my level of fanaticism has toned down IMMENSELY.

Back then, I used to scoff at others who don't share my love for the band, but now, I've come to understand that one's taste in music differs, and we should respect that. So it is only once in a while that I let that psycho fan side of me show... heheheheh

If you're ever interested on hearing Nirvana, at least to see what all the hype is about, I'd recommend these songs...

1. Smells Like Teen Spirit (hey! it's the staple, man! like what rice is to Asians!)

2. The Man Who Sold the World *david bowie cover* (crowning achievement of Kurt, IMO)

3. Come As You Are (something abt this song evokes memorias of the good ol' 90's...)

4. You Know You're Right (some say it's the final song he recorded before his death... he sounds so accepting of his defeat here...)

5. Where Did You Sleep Last Night *cover* (the lyrics are devastating, and Kurt sounds country-ish here)