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Paranoia is like a black veil, shrouding me so I can't see what is happening around me...
His phone has been switched off since last night, and I can't get through to him even now. I must have made over 30 calls ever since. And it all immediately led me to that irritating telephone operator bitch saying, "The person you are calling is not reachable. Please try again later", over & over again.
I tried calling his house phone. He's got me worried sick. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him. This silence is driving me crazy! Couldn't he have called? Why isn't he picking up? I JUST WANNA KNOW IF YOU'RE OKAY!
Kak Siti picked up the call & told me that he went to Penang with his brother since yesterday. Wait! He didn't inform me about that! And he usually does! Apa kes?
My emotions are in a blender. I'm worried, i'm nervous, i'm angry, i'm saddened... and it feels like absolute shit. Worst cocktail mix I've ever tasted.
Oh my vivid imagination, STOP PLANTING PARANOID THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD!!! I can't stand it! Why do I always expect the worst case scenario to happen to those I care about?
Too many damn movies & too many fucked up experiences I've been through, that's the problem...
Trust is the foundation of a strong, lasting relationship... but it's difficult to put your whole faith into someone when you've been hurt one too many times as a result of trusting too much?
But at the same time, if I allow myself to get too overemotional (and I am NOT exaggerating!) as I tend to do, and proceed to do rash, stupid things I'd later regret... then it might just put in cracks into my relationship.
Life is hard. You're damned if you do, you're equally as damned if you don't.
But I've decided to just wait & ignore my thoughts. I'll just leave my emotional cavity hollow, so I won't become too devastated if the worst does happen.
What I need now is Red Bull. And some throbbing music. And some strobe lights.
I am SERIOUSLY STOKED for Naninie's wedding this 27th of March!
Unlike most people, Naninie is not one to follow the conventional ways (which is one of the reasons I admire her) of most self-proclaimed 'liberal', but highly conservative Malay families.
Her special day wasn't going to be the traditional 'wear-a-poofy-white-dress-and-sit-still-looking-pretty-in-a-hotel-hall' kind of soiree. Her's is gonna set some tongues wagging... both in good ways & not-so-pleasant ways.
But honestly, WHY THE FANGKULO should we care if others don't approve our way of holding a wedding? It's OUR special day, not theirs. As long as it's still tasteful, and doesn't hurt anyone, let them have their cake and eat it too. Sorry la korang dengki... bukan salah kita your wedding tak se-best kita punya. ;p
Sour grapes, betches!
So the theme of the wedding is basically formal, but part of it is gonna be AYIYIYI! MUY CALIENTE DE LATINO! So this promises to be a wedding to remember, and should not be missed!
Plus, I get to see a certain someone (forcibly :P ) wear a suit! Amazing how a suit and tie makes you look like a million bucks, and sooooo dashing! Hehehehe he's gonna look like one handsome hombre... who is SOOOOO TAKEN, so back off, ladies! He's just your eye candy, but MY arm candy ;)
Jude Law = casually delectable, formally RAVISHING
Anyway, before I digress any further... so the main concern for any red-blooded woman/girl who is about to attend an important event is, "What am I going to wear?!"
Originally, I planned to wear my old red prom dress, but it seems that my ectomorphic, a.k.a. naturally slender body has lost its fats (and whatever curves it used to have before uni life). So it looks like I'm a friggin papan. But still, it was salsa-ish & red... Muy latina. Plus, it looked quite pretty on me during prom, enough to bag me a cute prom date DURING the damn thing ;)
But my Mama wasn't so fond of the dress, so she suggested we go find another, and will only revert to my prom dress if all else fails.
So after a few tiring days of searching through mountains of gorgeous dresses, which sadly, all cost more than RM 300 (I ain't gonna spend THAT MUCH for a dress I'm not gonna be able to wear more than once! Gila ka?!?!?!?), we finally found a suitable dress for the wedding at Somerset Bay.
Although it wasn't salsa-ish cut like I wanted, it did resemble a flamenco dress, which is close enough to home! There was a bit of a 'skirt kembang' thing going on at the bottom, but it's very pretty & feminine! Yay! The search is over!
Kinda like this, but not with that many ruffles!
The material is gorgeous! The pattern is large but subdued florals, and is dominantly magenta in colour, with undertones of dark purple & dark green. And to seal the deal, golden threads delicately sewn to make the dress shimmer just slightly.
This is the material. Gorgeous, yet understated,
don't you agree?
I ADORE J'ADORE J'AIME THE DRESS TROP BEAUCOUP! hahahah i know my French grammar & sentence structure is ALL OVER THE PLACE, but I cannot emphasize just how much i LOVE this dress! The chances for me of finding a dress this gorgeously exquisite at a fairly reasonable price (It was on sale, around RM230! What a bargain!) is rare!
And to put the cherry on top of the sundae, it fits me so well, I barely have to alter it! Being so slender, I barely have any visible curves, not to mention, having a short torso doesn't help things either. But the dress clung to the right curves, accentuating it like only a well-tailored piece of clothing could.
SO I AM BEYOND ECSTATIC with it. Plus, I can easily wear it a few more times, as the dress isn't overly glamorous. Maybe I can wear it to the beach, but my Mama will surely slaughter me! Hahahaha ;p
So I'm counting down the days till I finally am able to board my flight and arrive in Alor Setar so I can bear witness to my *insyaallah!* gorgeous future sister-in-law and her crazy yet ultimately loving groom-to-be's wedding... not to mention, flaunt my new dress!
Let's see... 18 days to go! I can't wait! Will soon write about the wedding ceremony itself & post some pics, I promise! A wedding! A wedding! There's gonna be a wedding!
Wishing this loving couple a lifetime of happiness & love
as husband & wife<3
R.I.P. Mr Ananth
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10:55 PM
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Just a few minutes ago, I received some shocking news via the phone. Auntie Shakeela called me up and informed me that my best friend Sem's teacher, Mr. Ananth, had just passed away.
Naturally, I called her up to check up on her. I offered her my deepest condolences and asked her where she was. I wasn't used to hearing her cry, coz everyone knows Sem. She's a trouper. Even when times are tough, she'd still soldier on with a smile on her face. Her voice was wracked with grief, and I could just picture the tears streaming down her almond-shaped eyes.
She told me that Mr Ananth, her favourite law lecturer, passed away in a club. He suddenly collasped, possibly due to a heart-attack, and they were not able to revive him. Sem also informed me that his students were holding a small memorial for him tonight.
Based on the myriad stories Sem told me about him, Mr Ananth was a witty, endearing man, who delighted in telling his students stories and challenging their intellect. He made a difficult and painstaking subject into an enjoyable one, and always made his students laugh. Sem was one of his favourites, and she looked up to him, always speaking so highly of him. He will definitely be missed.
Rest in peace, Mr Ananth. I extend my deepest condolences to your family and loved ones for their untimely loss. God bless.
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