*Old Post* The Short & Overflowing Words of the Seldom Blogger...

Posted by ethereality On 2:56 AM 0 feedbacks

August 31, 2008

Sorry for the long delay of posting a blog. Been so busy lately, and tired. Lately, I find myself facing the computer screen, feeling the urge to write, but somehow, I just can't seem to keep my thoughts formed long enough inside my head to transfer to a blog post. 


And not being able to write absolutely KILLS me… damn you, accursed writer's block! (shakes fist in the air rigorously)


So now it's 5.50am, Sunday morning (not a morning worthy of Maroon 5's mention, mind you… feels so lousy) and the whole house is asleep, except for the insomniac typing a damn post before dawn breaks.
What I have decided to do is just write down ALL of the short thoughts running rampant through my head in one single post. Here goes…

  • I suffer from an inferiority complex… I feel like I'm never good enough, and someone else is always better than me (well, on occasion…)

  • I felt jealous of a friend recently because she was more attractive and seemed to outshine me… I felt threatened. I felt so tak dilayan. This confession may be overdue, but I'll say it anyway, just to please those who have been pressuring me to admit it, and to ease my conscience. I AM A GREEN-EYED MONSTER OF ENVY.

  • I am NOT fond of butter cake… give me RICH, MOIST CHOCOLATE CAKE any day!

  • To those of you who don't know, I STILL DON'T HAVE A DAMN DRIVER'S LICENSE (I'm posting another post regarding this matter shortly) and I am NOT an incompetent driver!

  • I've made it my mission to tone up my triceps and lose my 'kegendutan' in the abdominal section (gulp! Sit ups!)

  • I keep thinking of the word 'PINEAPPLE' a lot since the beginning of the semester… why is that?!?!?

  • How much do 5lbs dumbbells cost? I'm pretty serious about getting a pair…

  • People tend to UNDERESTIMATE my capabilities, and sometimes, I don't blame them. I mean, I am a skinny-shit, and probably can't do many physical tasks. But it DOES NOT mean that I don't TRY, okay? (I will elaborate further in a future post)

  • Yes, I do carry heavy things, merci beaucoup. And I do not consider a single laptop bag as unbearably heavy!

  • I miss him so damn much…

  • I'm afraid of losing him… I don't want him to move on to greener pastures. Aren't I green enough?

  • I am clingy to those I love. It's a painful fact I'm forced to accept. I know it drives people away, but please understand. I'm only acting this way coz you're not responding to me, and I'm afraid of losing you. And I have lost loved ones because of this misunderstanding…

  • I miss my Semmykins so much! It kills me that I haven't seen her for over a month, and it's my fault for putting it off. I don't care whether it's the fasting month or what, but I'm gonna spend some time with my BFF!

  • Ibtisem Ben Nassib is the only friend I am able to connect with on an intellectual level with, although my friends are all smart in their own way. We're just kindred spirits, I guess…

  • Writers don't get much recognition as opposed to other vocations… (will elaborate further, soon!)

  • Why is it that some days, I can dance (okay, that's an exaggeration. Replace the word with 'MOVE') rather smoothly, and on some days I just look ridiculous and feel so disjointed? This sucks! Be consistent, body!

  • I tend to get nostalgic listening to Gwen Stefani's 'Cool'… beautiful scenery, though! And she's so pretty as a brunette!

  • Keris Patih's 'Tapi Bukan Aku' makes me wanna cry every time I listen to it, and not really because of the lyrics, but because the singer sounds like someone I deeply cared about…

  • I hate being left to make my way alone through this world if it can be helped, and I hate (to quote a song lyric) 'feeling alone with people around'.

  • I am in desperate need of a proper vacation! Get me away from everything and let me indulge in my senses… savor the moment! No heartaches, no worries… just the beach, the endless blue sea, close friends, and fun!

Okay, I'm sorry. I went overboard with the thoughts. I just realized that I've been extremely emotional lately, I'm narcissistic (notice how many times I used the word 'I'), and I use the word 'damn' a lot in this post. Well, at least now I can finally get some sleep. The burden's been taken off from my shoulders. I can finally rest in peace. Sweet dreams, guys. Until next time…

*Old Post* Imagine a life without liquid...

Posted by ethereality On 2:55 AM 0 feedbacks

June 26, 2008

It's amazing what some random snippet of general knowledge can teach you...

For those of you who have noticed the 'Did You Know?' box in my profile, its the one thing i look forward to everytime i log in my acc (well, besides the comments & messages, of course! lol). It gives me interesting trivia, which although i would possibly never use in real life, would benefit me in different ways. Triggering my imagination and encouraging me to find more info on the subject are among them.

Tonight's random trivia was about a rare disorder that prevents a person from consuming/doing a particular thing that contains a particular type of substance. In layman's term, we call em 'allergies'.

For example, we have people who are allergic to dairy products. Others are allergic to dust, peanuts, and some even to sunshine. Although they have it bad and are forced to accept their misfortune of missing out on life (soldier on, brave knights!), the trivia I read tonight was probably the worst allergy I have ever encountered.

Imagine being allergic to liquid.



Laugh if you want at how ludicrous this condition sounds, but in reality it really exists. Like I said previously, it is a RARE disorder. So far, only 30 known cases have been reported worldwide, and its scientific name is 'Aquagenous Urticaria'. But that's all I got from my featured application box.

I recall reading a feature article a few years back in a British magazine called Bliss. It was about a girl who suffered from this terrible condition, and how limited her life was. I remember looking at her picture... a rather pretty girl with sunny blond hair, bespectacled, and sitting on the grass with a smile on her face.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was perfectly normal.

The article was from a first-person point of view. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, the story was told from the girl's point of view. The tale of her life was heartbreaking.

She had NEVER drunk water in her life, coz her skin would become 'scalded' as if it touched hot water. All she could drink was milk, which is half solids. She couldn't get in the rain without her special raincoat, or she would 'scald' as if from acid. And she couldn't shower for longer than 30 seconds, if i'm not mistaken, or her skin will burn.


As for her love life? Well, she could have one which involves physical affection, provided that the kisses shared between her and her boyfriend were dry. No frenching, no exchanging saliva... just a dry kiss, coz a wet one would literally kill her. And when its her time of the month? Well, i forgot what she said exactly, but she did say it felt as if hot water was being poured onto her.

But what I found most devastating was that she couldn't become a mother. First of all, she couldn't even have sex (oh come on, people! stop cringeing! don't be such prudes! it's a normal part of life, and you'll someday do it too! deal with it!), coz the exchange of natural liquids would... yes you guessed it. KILL HER. And a baby? Well, forget it.

The desire to mother a child is ALMOST an inescapable one for a woman. It's exactly the feeling a woman gets when she is told by the doctor that she can no longer procreate... only most women won't die if they still tried.



Close your eyes, put yourself in this poor girl's shoes and imagine for a while...

You are at the beach. It is a hot summer's day. You brought your boyfriend along with you to share this special day. It is a beautiful sunny day and the ocean is calling, endless & blue and its waves crashing on top of the swimmers, who laugh gleefully from all the excitement, imagining they are mermaids or scuba divers. You so badly want to feel the cool salty waters on your skin, but you know you couldn't even dip your toe into the sea without risking your life.
You are parched. You need a drink, but the only thing they have is water, and things made out of water. No one serves milk at the beach! You think to yourself, 'Damn it! I should have brought some from home', as you enviously watch the beach-goers sipping their pina coladas, chugging down cans of chilled Cokes and licking colourful frozen popsicles, melting down their chins.

Your boyfriend can sense that you are troubled. He tries to distract you by kissing you, but its not like the ones you watch in movies, unless you count Disney movies. There is no passion in it, and even if both parties wanted it, they couldn't indulge. Never mind the circumstance. He loves you so much that it doesn't matter much to him


You lay down on the towel & watch the sun set over the horizon. The romantic setting stirs in him romantic feelings. He tells you how much he wants to be close to you, but he knows deep down inside he can't. He even says that he wants to marry and have 5 kids with you, and hoping that they'd all get your beautifully-shaped eyes and his cheeky smile. But you both know you can never do those things, no matter how much you love him...

Her story makes me realize that we often take our life for granted. The simple, and seemingly significant acts we do on a daily basis such as taking a shower, or having Milo for breakfast, or dancing in the rain, a kiss from our loved ones, could be the DREAM of others. We should learn to appreciate the blessings God has bestowed on us and learn a valuable lesson from all of this.

And as for the brave 30 men & women who suffer from this disease, I greatly admire your courage & strength for holding on. I hope that we would soon find a cure and possibly end your suffering, once and for all.

Life is fleeting. Life is short. We should make the most of it. Feel like drinking some water & giving someone a kiss now?

*Old Post* Happily dippily dappily!

Posted by ethereality On 2:48 AM 0 feedbacks

\Well, I havent exactly JUST realized this, but I noticed that most (okay, I take that back... ALL!) of my posts are rather emo... sorry, i'm not that way on a daily basis, but it has been a tough week to handle. Too many things on my plate.

So today I decided to go into a lighter mood. I'm just gonna list down the things that makes me happy. I forgot what it's called, but apparently, it helps you feel better. You know how just thinking about the person that makes you happy, actually makes you smile? Well, I guess it works the same way. Try it! Self-therapy really helps. :)


Things that make me happy (in no particular order):

1) a sweet note from a loved one
2) dancing like nobody's watching
3) clubbing with my close & gila friends!
4) roast lamb... *drools*
5) a full fridge packed with yummy things to eat!
6moist chocolate cakes!
7) shopping!
8) shakshuka! (arabic/israelian food! sedappp siutttt!)
9) laughing at a hilarious or inside joke
10) acting silly!
11) reading a good novel
12) FUCK THIS NUMBER! THE PAST IS THE PAST! DELETED!
13) reading a good novel
14) travelling to exotic & exciting places (Italy & Morocco! Can't wait!
15) baskin robbins' ice-cream! choc peppermint, rainbow sherbet, pralines & cream... you name it!
17) challenging my intellect
18) water! waterfalls, the rain, bubble baths, hot showers... you name it!
19) receiving loving gestures from those I love
20) spending quality time with my closest friends
21) shoes! High heels & wedges especially make me excited!
22) cam-whoring with my friends! hahah always a lot of fun!
23) sleeping for as long as I please, in my boudoir
24) knowing that I am needed by the people in my life
25) the many escapades of monsieur Lestat de Lioncourt (I love him so much! If only he were real!)
26) blasting my fave songs in the car
27) when my creative juices start flowing again (damn that cursed writer's block!)
28) watching the Simpsons & Desperate Housewives for hours on end
29) usha2 sexy men! Johnny Depp, Josh Holloway, Kevin Zegers, Billy Crudup, Stuart Townsend… omg! The list goes on & on!
30) my best friend forever… Ibtisem Ben Nassib


hahahah i feel so much better already! Just thinking about the things I love most really cheered me up, and uplifted my spirits! I highly recommend this method of therapy. Don't waste your money on psychiatrists & all that shit... list down wtv you love, and it doesnt even cost you a dime! And if you can, DO those things you love to further improve your appreciation for life!

Dr. Syam (heheheh perasan!) over & out!

*Old Post* Where as all the romance gone?

Posted by ethereality On 2:47 AM 0 feedbacks

June 17, 2008

Back when I was a fresh-faced teenager (God! Now I feel so old!), I remembered having whirlwind romances with my boyfriends -- the kind you read about in all those Sweet Valley High books. My exes would write me poems, leave sweet comments in my Friendster (sigh! those were the days), and other random acts of adoration... all with free will. I never asked for it, but those little, seemingly insignificant gestures meant a lot to me.

Nowadays, things are different.

Two years ago, as we reach the age of maturity & outgrew puppy love, it all kind of stopped.

No more were the messages of undying love & devotion to me. Barely any more phone calls just to ask 'how was your day'? Rarely any more text messages wishing me good night, sweet dreams.

Is it because we tend to get bored with the ones we claim to love after some time has passed? Have they gotten through the phase of being so deeply infatuated with their significant other and discarded the romanctic first few months of the relationship for a subdued remainder of the relationship?

Okay, I'm babbling, I know. The words make sense to me, but it's hard to digest. Anyways, to make a point, romance dies after a while. We stop being so 'in love' with a person after a while and gradually lessen the amount of proclamations of 'I miss you' and 'Rise and shine, baby!'.



The question is... do we have a choice in the matter? Can we actually CHOOSE not to give into the 'natural' fact that love eventually ebbs away like the ocean tide, or is there no stopping this force?

No, they tell me. Just because I don't message you as often or shower you with compliments, doesn't mean I don't love you.

Sometimes, I'd just like to hear them say such random, sweet nothings once in a while. Tell me why you love me... why we're together in the first place. Remind me of times when we looked forward to hearing what the other had to say. Don't just expect us to 'telepathically' know that we love you. We're not psychic!

Actions speak louder than words, but words have the power to convince others that something is right.

Convince me that I mean something to you. That is an ACTION by itself.

A few, seemingly insignificant little words can mean the whole world to someone.

Old habits die hard...

Posted by ethereality On 12:16 AM 0 feedbacks

...thus were the wise words/lyrics from Mick Jagger's song from the movie 'Alfie' (<3>

It's been, what? 8 months! Oh God! Really? 8 FRIGGIN' MONTHS since my last post! Nie melampau nih! I need to give myself a good pinch for doing this yet again... PROCRASTINATION! (refer to my previous post, "Procrastination Queen").

But then again... I kind of abandoned the whole blog-writing thing... so technically, what I did wasn't procrastinating, was it? So I guess this is my return as the Prodigal Daughter, so to speak ;p

I know I've done this many times... start blogging with enthusiasm for the first few months, then leave the project half-way... I should really stop doing this.

So this time around, the only promise I'm gonna make is that I'll be posting once in a while... whenever I feel like it, instead of my unfulfilled self-promise to write AT LEAST ONE post per week.

And let us hope that I keep to this more lenient promise this time around...


I was never really good with following the rules to begin with...


Just for the record, most of my posts will either be:

1) old posts from my other, older blog, which I sayang to throw away,

OR

2) posts about the things that have happened during my LOOOOOOONG absence... so if you're interested, I welcome & thank you for reading these little snippets of my thoughts.

Happy reading! :)

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

    Syamzee is...

    My photo
    SNS here, at your service! But you can call me Mimi for short. :) This blog is used as a medium of publishing my assignments & tasks for the TSL 641 subject. Welcome & feel free to leave me any comments!

    Fave Quotes...

    I'd rather be hated for who I am
    than be loved for who I am not

    - Kurt Cobain



    True poets don't write their thoughts with a pen... They release the ink that flows from within their heart

    - Anonymous



    I am so smart... S-M-R-T... I mean, S-M-A-R-R-T!

    - Homer Simpson



    Karma works both ways.
    It'll kick you in the ass
    if you treat others like shit,
    and it will kiss you
    if you treat them with care and respect.
    Call me Karma, then.
    coz if you treat me like shit,
    I'll kick your fucken ass.

    - Syamzee Imimays

    The Entourage